Gen Z Cancels the Sun: Climate Activists Demand It “Turn Itself Down” by 20%
In a move that has both scientists and boomers scratching their heads, a coalition of Gen Z climate activists has launched a campaign demanding the Sun reduce its intensity by 20% “to combat global warming and unfair tan lines.”
The group, calling themselves “Solar Justice Warriors”, claims the Sun is “overstepping its boundaries” and has been “totally out of line since the Industrial Revolution.” Their viral hashtag, #DimTheSun, has taken over TikTok, where users are posting videos of themselves wearing sunglasses indoors and scolding the nearest light bulb in protest.
“It’s Too Hot, and We’re Over It”
“It’s 2025, and we shouldn’t still be dealing with 95-degree weather in October,” said campaign leader Skylar Green, a 19-year-old environmental studies major. “The Sun has had billions of years to chill out, but it keeps acting like it’s the center of the universe. Newsflash: It’s not!”
Skylar also noted that the Sun’s “constant need to shine” is emblematic of larger systemic issues, such as unchecked power dynamics and light pollution.
How Are They Protesting?
The group has organized several eye-catching demonstrations:
Wearing SPF 100 sunscreen in solidarity with “victims of excessive UV exposure.”
Hosting “shade-ins,” where activists sit under umbrellas chanting, “Turn it down, Sun, or you’re done!”
Petitioning NASA to launch a giant pair of sunglasses into orbit to “block the Sun’s harmful rays and its attitude.”
One protestor, who identified as @MoonVibesOnly on TikTok, summed it up: “We’re not anti-light. We’re just pro-dim. There’s a difference.”
Gen Z Cancels the Sun: Climate Activists Demand It “Turn Itself Down”
Scientists Are, Uh, Confused
Climate scientists have tried to explain that the Sun isn’t something you can “just turn down,” but their objections have fallen on deaf ears. “Look, we get it, the Sun is hot,” said Dr. Linda Hayes of the National Weather Association. “But asking it to lower its output is like asking gravity to take a day off. It doesn’t work that way!”
The activists, however, remain undeterred. “Science is just a construct,” said another protestor while sipping an iced matcha latte. “If we can cancel problematic celebrities, why not cancel the Sun? Same energy.”
Boomers Are Furious
The movement has sparked a generational clash. Many boomers have taken to Facebook to post memes with captions like, “Back in my day, we worshipped the Sun, not canceled it!”
One Florida man even organized a counter-protest, standing shirtless on a beach with a sign that read, “Don’t tread on my UV rays!”
Could They Succeed?
While the group’s demands may seem outlandish, some tech billionaires have shown interest in the idea. One recently tweeted, “Working on Sun-dimming technology. Imagine a solar eclipse, but cooler. Literally.”
Meanwhile, another is reportedly funding a project called “CloudCover,” which would deploy massive floating umbrellas into the atmosphere.
What’s Next?
For now, the Solar Justice Warriors are focused on their upcoming “Eclipse Day” event, where they plan to block out the Sun with millions of helium balloons. Critics argue this could have disastrous environmental consequences, but the activists insist it’s “a small price to pay for a slightly cooler Earth.”
Whether or not the Sun will heed their demands remains to be seen. But one thing is clear: this generation won’t stop until even the brightest star in the sky is held accountable.
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