Canadian Prime Minister Resigns to Become a Monk in Tibet to Pursue a Life of Peace
Ottawa, Canada — In a move no political analyst or psychic hotline could have predicted, the Canadian Prime Minister has announced their immediate resignation to pursue a life of peace, humility, and probably better Wi-Fi on the serene mountains of Tibet.
“I’ve done enough for Canada. Now it’s time to find myself... and maybe a better outfit,” the PM said during a press conference, wearing a saffron robe and a surprisingly well-placed man bun.
“Canada Will Be Fine Without Me”
The announcement left Canadians stunned. Across the country, maple syrup taps went silent, hockey games paused mid-period, and Tim Hortons ran out of double-doubles as the news spread.
“I mean, I get it,” said Toronto resident Sheila MacAllister. “Politics is stressful. But Tibet? I didn’t even know monks accepted people who like poutine that much.”
The PM assured the public that Canada would "continue running itself," joking that “Let’s be honest, Canadians are too polite to let anything go off the rails.”
Why Tibet?
The PM revealed that the decision came after a transformative meditation app trial, during which they accidentally signed up for a premium subscription they couldn’t cancel. “The app kept telling me to ‘seek higher enlightenment,’ and I thought, ‘Why not take it literally?’”
Sources close to the PM say they’ve been fascinated by Tibetan culture ever since binge-watching a documentary on mountain goats. “The mountains are calling, and I must go,” the PM allegedly told aides while eating leftover Swiss Chalet.
Canadian Prime Minister Resigns to Become a Monk in Tibet to Pursue a Life of Peace
What’s Next for the PM?
The PM plans to spend their days in quiet reflection, chanting, and “figuring out the whole karma thing.” They’ve already started practicing the art of simplicity by trading in their government-issued car for a yak.
However, insiders say they haven’t entirely abandoned Canadian habits. Reports indicate the PM has been trying to introduce Timbits as an offering during temple ceremonies, with mixed results.
Canada Reacts
The resignation has sparked wild reactions across Canada. Opposition leaders immediately called for an election, while the PM’s loyal supporters have begun knitting scarves for their spiritual journey.
Social media exploded with memes, including one depicting the PM meditating atop Parliament Hill with the caption: “From Prime Minister to Prime Meditator.”
Monk Life Won’t Be Easy
Experts warn that the PM might face challenges adapting to monastic life, including waking up at 4 a.m., shaving their head, and explaining hockey to their fellow monks.
One monk, reached for comment, said, “We are peaceful people, but if they try to make us watch curling, we may reconsider.”
A Legacy of Maple and Mindfulness
Despite the unexpected departure, many Canadians are choosing to see the brighter side. “Maybe they’ll achieve Nirvana,” said Calgary resident Doug Roberts. “And who knows? Maybe they’ll come back and teach us all how to deal with winter without complaining.”
As the PM departs for their new life, one thing is certain: Canada will never forget the leader who swapped politics for peace, suits for robes, and a nation’s expectations for enlightenment.
Stay tuned for updates, including whether they’ll return to Canada or open a Tibetan Tim Hortons instead.
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