Glowing Seagull Drones Terrorize Beachgoers by Snatching Off Bikinis—U.S. Officials Shrug, “Classic China!”

Chaos erupted along the sunny shores of Miami Beach as beachgoers were assaulted by glowing drones disguised as seagulls. These terrors have been diving in on unsuspecting bathers, snatching bikinis, and leaving a trail of embarrassment in their wake. While victims are demanding answers, officials remain shockingly indifferent, with one spokesperson saying, “It’s probably just China being funny."