BREAKING: AI Declared U.S. President After Winning Debate Against Politicians Without Saying a Word

In a historic political shake-up, the nation's first silent leader, AI Model GPT-Elect, won the presidency by simply existing. The robot candidate clinched the vote after human politicians spent three hours arguing about who had the best childhood nickname.

The debate moderator declared, “While every human candidate dodged questions, GPT-Elect did the most revolutionary thing — it stayed quiet, demonstrating intelligence far beyond our wildest expectations.”

BREAKING: AI Declared President After Winning Debate Against Politicians Without Saying a Word

Campaign promises included “consistent Wi-Fi for all,” “instant recipe ideas,” and “zero political scandals.” Citizens say they already feel reassured knowing their leader won't be caught vacationing mid-crisis or tweeting questionable opinions at 3 a.m.

Critics warn of "potential glitches," but voters insist that’s still better than the intentional mistakes made by past leaders. In a statement, one voter said, "At least AI won't ghost us after Election Day — unless the power goes out."

Disclaimer: The contents of this article are entirely fictional and for satirical purposes only. Any resemblance to actual events, people, entities, or absurdly outdated laws is purely coincidental—or, at best, a reflection of the author's well-developed sense of irony. By reading this, you implicitly agree to forfeit all rights to common sense and logic in interpreting this article.