France has officially demanded the return of the Statue of Liberty, claiming that the United States has failed to honor the original agreement made over 137 years ago. According to recently “unearthed” documents, France gifted the colossal statue under one condition: that America use it to transform New York City into “the most fabulous party town ever.” And, it has not.

In a decision that has left Washington, D.C., residents clutching their Starbucks cups in disbelief, Congress has announced the relocation of the US capital to Anchorage, Alaska. America's political heart is moving to the land of moose and bears. The move, dubbed “Operation Frosty Freedom,” is set to begin next year, and officials say it’s “a bold step toward decentralizing government power.”

In a twist that no one saw coming, Harvard University has announced that it will shutter its classrooms indefinitely, citing "low enrollment" and a “cultural shift away from being annoyingly overqualified.” Students who once dreamed of sipping coffee in Harvard Yard have been priced out by the university’s on-campus cafés, where a single oat milk latte now costs $100 and it’s not even organic.

Florida has passed an emergency law banning pornography, citing “moral decay” to protect American “family values.” The law, titled “The Wipe My Screen & Keyboard Clean Act,” has sparked outrage and confusion. However, critics are questioning the sudden pivot to Puritanism, especially given the state’s colorful political history of porking prostitutes. What’s next? Banning bikinis on South Beach?

In what experts are calling the most bizarre land deal in history, the US has reportedly purchased Greenland for a staggering $1 trillion in Bitcoin and a $25 McDonald’s gift card. The historic deal was reportedly negotiated in a secret meeting between US officials and the Danish government inside a heated igloo underneath Greenland’s icy tundra. Some are calling it the most American thing ever.

In a revelation that has left both internet users and conspiracy theorists scratching their heads, a leaked report suggests that public relations (PR) firms may not just be incompetent but actively working against the American public. A recent Harvard study found that 78% of PR "pros" think the public enjoys being condescended to. If you see a PR team lurking near your favorite brand, steer clear.

The US has reportedly dismantled the Panama Canal and airlifted it piece by piece back to American soil. Officials say the audacious operation, code-named “Operation Canal Grab,” was carried out under the cover of darkness using a fleet of giant helicopters borrowed from Elon Musk’s secret SpaceX inventory. “We built it; we’re taking it back,” announced Secretary of Infrastructure Bobby Biggs.

Mexico has become the epicenter of a taco mystery. Reports are flooding in from tourists and locals claiming that a taco vendor is serving up more than just delicious food—he’s dishing out hallucinations. The chaos began when an American tourist, Trevor Williams, posted a TikTok video from a street taco stand in Tijuana. In the now-viral video, he took one bite and immediately began screaming.

In a shocking twist that has left Canadians sipping their Tim Hortons in disbelief, a leaked document from an unnamed "global superpower" claims that Canada is set to become part of the United States by the end of the year. The alleged plan, dubbed "Operation Maple Merge," has sparked mass hysteria, laughter, and some very polite protests on both sides of the border.

In a headline ripped straight from a horror movie, Miami residents were sent into a frenzy after reports of “zombie alligators” roaming the beaches began flooding social media. The phenomenon, which locals have dubbed Gatorgeddon, has left authorities baffled, tourists terrified, and Floridians... mildly amused. Some believe the gators are feasting on meth-laced water from a drug dump gone wrong.

NYC, the city that never sleeps, is now the city that never stops screaming. Massive rats have taken over subways. These rodent overlords have started wearing tiny cowboy hats. Subway riders are terrified as the rats appear to be getting bolder. Videos show them riding escalators and attempting to swipe MetroCards. One clip shows a rat in a chef’s hat, stirring marinara sauce on the 1 train.

In a turn of events that sounds like the plot of a sci-fi movie, California is under siege by an unknown glowing fog. From San Francisco to Los Angeles, residents woke up to streets bathed in an eerie green light, prompting some wild conspiracy theories. In true LA fashion, yoga studios are offering “fog detox classes,” and avocado toast recipes now include glow-in-the-dark garnishes.

The number one thing people are searching isn’t groundbreaking science or global news. It’s moldy, old cheese. Experts believe this speaks to a collective fear of wasting food, but conspiracy theorists have a different take. “Big Cheese is tracking these searches to sell us more expensive ‘organic’ blocks. It’s all part of the lactose lobby’s plan to control our minds—and our bowels.”

In what experts are calling “the grossest apocalyptic event of the century,” the United States has closed all major airports after a freak meteorological phenomenon caused worms—yes, worms—to rain down from the skies. Flights have been grounded, passengers are furious, and conspiracy theorists are already blaming everything from secret government experiments to alien farming initiatives.

We’ve been told the moon to be a natural satellite orbiting Earth. But what if everything we’ve been told is a lie? A growing number of conspiracy theorists believe that the moon is not what it seems—and they might be onto something. Could it have been placed there intentionally? Dr. Phelman believes the dark side of the moon hides advanced surveillance equipment, used to monitor humanity.

Authorities in rural Kansas are baffled by the sudden appearance of a town that was never there before. Residents of nearby areas say that just a week ago, the land where the town now stands was nothing but empty fields. Now, the eerie settlement—dubbed “Evanesburg” by locals—has become a chilling urban legend. But even more disturbing is that anyone who enters hasn’t been heard from since.

In another chapter of “only in Florida,” a local man has taken squatter’s rights to a whole new level. When authorities arrived at an abandoned Walmart in Pensacola this week, they discovered 38-year-old Ricky McGubbins sitting atop a throne of stacked pallets, wearing a crown crafted from aluminum foil and soda cans. According to local reports, Ricky moved into the empty Walmart two weeks ago.

In a terrifying incident that feels ripped straight out of a blockbuster movie, passengers aboard Flight 819 from Miami to Denver were left in shock when the plane’s pilot vanished mid-flight, leaving passengers to take control of the aircraft. What passengers didn’t know at the time was that Captain James “Jim” Porter, a veteran with 70 years of flying experience, was nowhere to be found.

In a jaw-dropping turn of events, geologists conducting surveys in the Nevada desert stumbled upon something that could spark heated debates worldwide. What they found buried under 12 feet of sand has experts and conspiracy theorists alike scratching their heads. Locals in nearby towns claim they've long heard rumors of “hums” coming from the desert at night, but many dismissed it as urban legend.