Why President Trump Hates You: You’re on His Naughty List
Ever wondered if Donald Trump has a personal vendetta against you? Sure, he’s never met you, but that doesn’t mean you’re not living rent-free in his golden, chandelier-laden mind. From his fiery tweets (or, let’s be real, Truth Social rants) to his polarizing speeches, it’s clear that Trump has strong opinions about just about everything—and everyone. So, let’s dive into the reasons why you, yes you, might be on the wrong side of the Trump Tower elevator.
Does President Trump Hate Me?
At the end of the day, Trump doesn’t actually hate you (probably). But in the theater of Trump’s world, anyone who doesn’t fall into his carefully curated club of die-hard fans and yes-men might as well be. But hey, if he hates you, it probably just means you’re doing something right.
Why President Trump Hates You: You’re on His Naughty List
1. You Didn’t Vote for Him
If you didn’t proudly wave a red “Make America Great Again” flag in 2016 or 2020, congratulations—you’ve already ruffled his feathers. Trump famously values loyalty above all else. Whether you voted for Hillary, Biden, or Mickey Mouse, he probably sees you as part of the “rigged” system that “stole” his spotlight.
2. You’re a Vegetarian
Trump’s diet is a love letter to fast food and steak. If your idea of fine dining involves tofu, quinoa, or (gasp) a plant-based burger, you’re practically committing treason against his personal food pyramid. He’s likely imagining you as the reason the Trump Steaks empire never took off.
3. You’re from a Blue State
California, New York, or any state that didn’t swing red? Trump might lump you into the “radical left” bucket faster than you can say “covfefe.” Blue states are his favorite scapegoats for everything from high taxes to liberal ideologies. Bonus points if you live in San Francisco or Seattle—you’re practically public enemy number one.
4. You Criticized Him on Social Media
Do you have a snarky tweet about his hair, his spelling, or his policies buried in your timeline? Trump definitely wouldn’t take it lightly. He’s famous for holding grudges, and if your comment got more than three likes, he might already be drafting a Truth Social post about you being “very unfair” and “a total loser.”
5. You’re a Journalist
If you’ve ever written or shared anything remotely critical of Trump, you’ve joined the exclusive club he loves to call “fake news.” Journalists who don’t sing his praises are practically villains in his world. Bonus hatred if you work for CNN, MSNBC, or The Washington Post.
6. You Believe in Climate Change
Trump’s love for coal mines and disdain for wind turbines is legendary. If you’ve ever shared an article about rising sea levels or even own a reusable water bottle, he might see you as part of the “liberal hoax” trying to undermine his drilling dreams.
7. You’re Not a Billionaire (or Pretending to Be One)
Trump loves the rich and famous—or at least people who look and act the part. If your net worth doesn’t start with a “B,” or your Instagram feed isn’t dripping in gold and golf courses, you’re just not his type. Sorry, not everyone can afford a Mar-a-Lago membership.
8. You Don’t Watch Reality TV
Did you skip out on The Apprentice? You missed his golden years of television glory! Trump might see you as un-American for not tuning in to watch him fire people in prime time. After all, that show was his launchpad to political stardom.
9. You Like Obama
Did you post a happy birthday tribute to Barack Obama? Did you celebrate when Michelle’s memoir topped the bestseller list? Trump might already have you on his mental “no-fly zone.” His disdain for the Obamas is as legendary as his love for golf.
10. You’re Living Your Best Life Without Him
Ultimately, Trump might hate you because you’re not paying attention to him. Love him or hate him, Trump thrives on being in the spotlight. If you’ve managed to go about your life without getting riled up about his antics, that indifference might be the biggest offense of all.
Disclaimer: The contents of this article are entirely fictional and for satirical purposes only. Any resemblance to actual events, people, entities, or absurdly outdated laws is purely coincidental—or, at best, a reflection of the author's well-developed sense of irony. By reading this, you implicitly agree to forfeit all rights to common sense and logic in interpreting this article.
