Toronto in Turmoil: Residents Riot Over Mandatory Maple Syrup Search and Seizure

In what some are calling the most absurd legislation since the infamous “Moose Rights Act” of 1974, Toronto’s city council has passed a law mandating the addition of maple syrup to every food and beverage served within city limits. The law, dubbed the “Maple Mandate,” was introduced by Councillor Doug “Drizzle King” Flannery, who claimed it would boost Canada’s maple syrup exports.